The San Ramon Market Place is home to one of the El Balazo mexican restaurants. El Balazo is spanish for the bullet. This has always struck me as an odd name for a restaurant. Is it a hint at the speed in which they get your food to you? "We serve our food as fast as a speeding bullet." Could it be something more sinister maybe the owner shot someone and stole their family treasure and used that money to start up the first restaurant. Who knows the reasoning, but after looking at the size of the burrito and calculate the number of calories, you might as well shoot yourself because it will be a much faster less painful death.
Trying to calculate the calories of their giant burritos definitely calls for an Iphone App. After running numerous calculations the burrito clocks in at least 2,000 calories with around 900 cal from fat. Hopefully you did not eat the stale chips with that, or the full sugar drink. To burn those calories off you would need to jog for almost three hours. Which would all be worth it if the food was really good.
Unfortunately your first impression as you walk into the restaurant is the smell of a mixture of bleach and barf. As you walk along your feet start sticking to the floor which then really makes you wonder about that awful smell. If you can get past the sticky floor and the bad smell you arrive at the counter and are surprised to see some good looking chicken breasts grilling away.
This gives the customer some hope and spurs you on to your order. At this point you decide to order a chicken burrito. This is where a strange magical process happens as your nice fresh chicken breast travels from the grill to your burrito. The lovely chicken is transmogrified into a greasy disgusting meat that no longer tastes like fresh chicken breast, but more like transmission fluid. Add this fact to the enormous size of the burrito and you are soon all too well aware of why you smelled the bleach/barf.
To be fair if you have trouble smelling and tasting and you need to gain 15 pounds at one sitting, El Balazo is just the ticket you need.
I think it's called the bullet because the food shoots out of you as soon as it goes in. I have to say DJ, this is the first blog that I've agreed with. My feet were stuck to the floor, the food is expensive and they stopped selling fruit salad. All around boo! Terrible place for a vegetarian/vegan.
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